Perfectly Chocolate Chocolate Brownies

(Written April 29th)

It’s Thursday at 3 a.m. We all miss Daddy who has been gone since Sunday afternoon. I’m tired and wondering just how single moms do this all the time, but I suppose when you have to do it you just do it. There isn’t much of a choice. There is no alternative.

I never sleep well when Eric is out of town: kids waking and calling for Daddy and strange noises I never would have noticed had he been home. Right now a storm is raging outside, something I ordinarily would have slept right through and never been wiser of it’s presence till morning. Instead, I’m on high alert and nothing feels normal.

Dinner without Eric is the hardest. Part of what I love most about cooking (and eating) is doing it for and with my family. Even with my passion for food, it is hard to find the motivation to cook for one. Instead, I broke all the rules last night. Regular routines don’t seem to work anyway when Daddy’s out of town. I let the kids have dessert first. Or in Madeline and my case, we had dessert for dinner. Call me a bad mom, I don’t care. This kept the peace last night. And it was definitely a day worthy of a brownie sundae using my Perfectly Chocolate Chocolate Brownie recipe for dinner.

The rain and wind are getting louder now. I don’t know if I will be able to get back to sleep. Or if it will take me till dawn to relax again. At this point the best I can hope for is that tomorrow (or rather, today at this point) will be a little bit smoother. One thing I know: the moment Eric pulls into the garage all will be right again. We’ll transition right back into our routine. We’ll eat dinner for dinner and dessert for dessert. Kids will sleep through the night again and in their own beds. And I certainly won’t be awake at 3:00 with worry when a storm strikes.

The recipe for my Perfectly Chocolate Chocolate Brownies can be found in 55 Knives: Recipes, Tips and Stories from 55 Top Food Bloggers. These brownies are quick and delicious with ingredients most of you will already have on hand. They’re perfect by themselves or in a brownie sundae.

The 55 Knives project was complied by Nick of Macheesmo and is now available after many months of work. What makes the 55 Knives e-book so special?

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